Heal me, O LORD, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise.
Cancer
Just the mere mention of the word is a life changer. It changes the way we think....the way we look at life.....the way we eat, the things we take into our bodies, and the way we approach our future. It changes the journey.
For some, it is a word that brings fear into being. That has never been a factor for me. Don't ask me why.... I am not sure I could tell you. I like to believe it is because of my faith in God. I have never questioned why?.....or wondered how I became subject to the disease. All I knew is that it "was." And my life was forever changed.
Now that I have been through the Chemo end of the process.... I find myself anxious to move on to the next faze. I want to know that I am on the "other" side of the journey and headed towards the healing part. I am thankful that I can say "remember when" in reference to the Chemo treatments. They were not easy.....and towards the 5th treatment I rebelled and didn't want to participate. :) I even tried to talk my daughter Shanna (who accompanied me to every doctor's appt and treatment), to let me call in sick. She very firmly told me that I "couldn't call in sick when I was going because I WAS sick." Well....I gave in, reluctantly.... knowing that after this 5th one...there was only one more to go. At the end of the 6th one, I don't mind telling you that I done a little dance when my 3 hour treatment was over with! I couldn't wait for my attending nurse to remove that dreaded IV and let me go free! Now they are just a memory.
In about 19 hours my husband will be home. I sort of think that at that moment, all will be well with my world. He has been told by co-workers that if it were them..and their wife was dealing with Chemo treatments...that they would be there..no matter what. Well....he was right where he needed to be. Without Insurance coverage, we would be ruined financially. He needed to remain in his job..and continue on in order for us to survive the mounting costs of my cancer treatments. It hasn't been easy having him gone...for him or for me! But!..... I am so grateful for his love and support....even if it had to be from afar! I could not have made it without knowing he was just a phone call away. His encouragement and words of wisdom gave me the ability to keep looking up. I owe so much to him and his faith in me.
In 3 days I will face the biggest challenge of my journey. I will undergo a 10 hour surgery that will ensure me of being free of breast for the rest of my life. It isn't any thing new to the medical world....just new to me. I am not afraid....nor apprehensive in any way. I have the assurance that "God's got this!" I have no illusions that it will be an easy road. I know that I have many long painful days ahead of me. But I also know that God will heal...and restore. He has already promised me. I also know that I have a wonderful support system. God has placed such awesome people in my path that will help me along the way. I have learned to let go of certain things. My yard....(that I take such pride in!)....my house work....my painting projects.....my volunteer hours.....keeping the pool spotless.....and the list goes on! All those things will be there when I recover. I pray that through it all I will always remember where God has brought me. To give Him the glory for the healing journey that He has walked with me for the past 6 months. The next year will require some stamina as well as lots of prayer. The prayers of friends and family....and the prayers of even those who are strangers to me!
I am counting on the prayer part the most! Without it.... I would not be able to endure. God has given His promise to walk with me.... I know that I will never walk it alone. I just need to know that I am being lifted up....to the God who hears....to the God who cares.....to the God who heals! Prayer. It changes things.
And my cancer? ..........Soon that word too will just be a memory.
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